Man Rules

My Dad sent me this forwarded email the other day. Normally I don't take the time to read what I call "junk email", but he was very proud of the content and insisted that I take some time to give it a read. I have to admit, it was rather enlightening... and by enlightening, I mean that it was interesting to me to see that all men really do think alike!

I have taken some time to review each "rule" and have given my opinion of what I think about each of these "Man Rules"!

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules" From the female side....
now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers. ( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE ) I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have heard my husband say these words to me! It doesn't take a mind reader or a genius for that matter, to figure out what your wife is thinking! Paying better attention is my idea of what should be a woman's first & foremost rule!!!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Oh please! When you begin cleaning the toilets then we will talk! Until then, I make the "toilet rules"!

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. True... but Sunday only comes once a week! SportsCenter is not anything like a full moon or the changing of the tides especially when it's being viewed more than once a day!

1.. Crying is blackmail. I don't even have words for this!

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
I have figured this one out... thanks!!!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. This is such a typical male comment! Why is it so hard for you males to have a conversation?!

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. Again, figured this one out... the hard way! But I don't for the life of me understand why you must know what it is that I was talking to my girlfriend about or why you make comments like, "I suppose you're going to tell "Sally" about this!"

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. Here's a little tip... think very clearly before you make the comment that could come back to haunt you 6 months later!!!

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. Well, that explains a lot! And if we say you still look as good to us as you did when we first met... ya don't!!!

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. And if it does make us angry or sad... FIX IT!!!

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself. Do it right the first time and I wouldn't have to critique or correct your work!!!

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials! I think my husband actually wrote this one!

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. Then why do we own a Garmin?!

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. Then allow us to dress you... all the time!

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. Yes, we know! Just try harder to be discrete about it in public!!!

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. Again, my husband wrote this!!! Why do you even ask if that's how you are going to handle the situation?!

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. Oh brother! Really?!

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really. When we have to go somewhere, help w/ the kids would be very much appreciated... really!!! And before you get dressed... ask if what you are about to put on is OK!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey. Once a week, would it really hurt you to talk about something other than sports?!

1. You have enough clothes. SO DO YOU!!!

1. You have too many shoes. SO DO YOU!!! Work boots count!

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! No comment!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Now that I know sleeping on the couch is like camping to you... have a nice time camping!!!!

4 Years, 4 Months

4 Years ago I was a new Mommy to a 4 month old. 4 Months ago I became a new Mommy again, only this time I had a 4 year old at home! I'm sure my house was cleaner, I know I spent much more one-on-one time w/ my now 4 year old and I definitely felt a lot less stressed. But having Maddox as a part of our little family has been such a blessing! We just celebrated Max's first Valentine's Day. Here are the boys posing w/ their Valentine's from Grandma & Grandpa Meier.
Jaxon - 4 years

Maddox - 4 months

Max has been fighting off his first cold this month... poor baby! When he's not sleeping, eating or pooping, he enjoys playing w/ toys, riding in the stroller and doing whatever big brother Jaxon wants to do. We were lucky last week to have beautiful weather for a few days... now we're back to being stuck indoors again for a awhile. He has just started taking his baths w/out the baby net on his tub and seems to enjoy bath time even more than before. He has doubled his birth weight and is now wearing 6 month clothing. He has slept through the night twice now and we are hoping that when we get rid of this awful bug, we'll be doing lots more of that!

People are constantly telling us that we have a future football player on our hands... now they're telling us we've got two future defensive linemen!!!

A Delicious Valentine's Day Surprise

For Valentine's Day my Mom always tries to do something extra special for us girls... probably because she knows that our husbands are a lot like her own! Last year my sister-in-law, Traci, and I got flowers. It was set up for them to be delivered, which in the country is a big deal! It was really muddy much like it is this year and the florist needed directions to each of our homes. Instead of calling my Mom for directions, the florist called Traci & I but didn't tell us who the delivery was going to be from. Instinctively, I knew the flowers were not from my husband... and he made that perfectly clear when I told him about the phone call from the florist!!! If he were a smarter man, he would have gone with it and played it out to seem as though he had a sweet bone left in his body!!!

Anyway, my sister had a basketball tournament the day the flowers were to be delivered in the town that the flowers were to be delivered from, so I told the florist I'd be happy to come pick them up. I told my Dad that I was going to be stopping at the florist's to pick up some flowers and asked if he needed me to do some shopping for Mom. He thought that'd be a good idea! My Mom apparently had the same idea I did about picking up the flowers because as I was paying for her flowers, here came my parents! Surprise blown! Oh well, we both got flowers out of the deal and that's what matters!!!

So this year my Mom decided to do something a little different. Instead of getting something for just us girls, she picked something that each of our family members could enjoy.

Ever heard of a little place called Georgetown Cupcakes?

If you haven't heard of them, check out their hit show DC Cupcakes on TLC! And yes, they are as delicious as they look, maybe even more!!!

My favorite by far are their Red Velvet cupcakes... to try them yourself, click the link below!http://www.georgetowncupcake.com/about.html

Mailing Valentines

We have been busy little beavers at our house this week getting ready for Valentine's Day! Jaxon & his class have also been busy preparing for the sweetest day of the year at PreSchool too! Since we have lots of new friends this year, we decided to make homemade Valentines.

(This was Jaxon's idea. I would have been completely fine w/ buying the SpongeBob ones we looked at at Wal-Mart, but he wanted Monster Truck Valentine's and we couldn't find any! He asked if we could make our own at that point & I couldn't exactly turn him down!)

The theme at PreSchool the past 2 weeks has been "Mailing Valentines". The kids all made a special Valentine for a special someone and yesterday, got to mail that Valentine on their field trip to the Post Office in Linn. Jaxon was so excited about going to the Post Office! He had been telling us all week how he was going to mail Maddox's special Valentine. So I guess Max can expect his first Valentine in the mail! The picture above is of the PreSchoolers standing infront of the mailboxes... Jaxon is in the tan coveralls. They were pulled across town on sleds to the Post Office by their teacher and another Mom! I'm not sure which part was more fun... the Post Office or the sledding?!?!

Here they all are lining up to mail their Valentines. What a fun way to learn all about our postal service!

Copy Cat

Jaxon's been busy showing Maddox all sorts of new tricks!

This seems to be his favorite!

The Things We Do For Love

Now I realize this is probably way too much information, even for me, but if it helps another Mommy, then it'll be worth the humiliation of what I am about to type!

Poor Max has had a clogged tear duct since birth. I keep telling myself, "It'll go away!" But we wake up every morning to the same thing... a poohy eye! I've spoke to the doctor about it several times, she keeps telling me the same thing... warm compress and lots of massaging. Everyday for the past 3 months and some odd days, I've started my day off by doctoring Max's poor, poohy eye! Throughout the day, I clean the area and massage every time I nurse him. His poor little bean is as dry as sandpaper because of all the warm compresses!

So I decided to start doing a little research on the issue. I am always a bit skeptical when it comes to what I read online, after all, this is his eye we are talking about. I don't exactly want to make my child go blind because of some old wives tale I've read on the Internet! Most of the information I have been able to find says to continue doing what I have been doing and eventually it will go away on it's own. But there was always another suggestion that kept coming up that I thought sounded a bit crazy at first!

Since this idea kept popping up in my online research, I decided to ask around. I figured if it were as crazy as it sounded the individuals I asked would have no problem telling me so! I finally got up the nerve to call the doctor's office and request to talk to the nurse, again! I explained to her my frustration and asked her to be completely honest w/ me on whether or not she would try this on her own child. Since the nurse I was speaking to has no children of her own she said she'd be happy to ask the doctor and return my call.

When the nurse called back she explained that what I had read wasn't crazy and the doctor thought it'd be worth a try. She went on to explain that while it probably wouldn't completely unclog the tear duct, it would kill off any infection and clear up the snotty, green, pussy, poohy stuff that drains from the eye!

With the doctor's blessing, I preformed an at-home procedure on my little Max that will one day have him wanting to die at the mere thought of it! As Jaxon and I were playing Batman & the Joker this afternoon, I decided to go ahead and give the procedure a try. Max got hungry in the middle of our comic book heroes battle so I did what I always do when he gets hungry, I nursed him. When he was all finished, I sprayed a little breast milk into his poohy eye... told you this is way too much info!!! Jaxon asked what I was doing, because he witnessed the whole awkward procedure, so I told him that Max was pretending to be the Penguin and that the Joker, (me), was spraying "silly juice" in his eyes to keep him from stealing my weapon!

Don't worry, I also explained to him that only the Joker, (aka Mommy), has the power of the "silly juice" and that no one, I mean no one is to ever put anything in Max's eyes!!! He then asked if I'd spray Batman, (him), w/ the "silly juice"!!!

"Sorry Buddy, the "silly juice" only works on the Penguin! And no you can't be the Penguin!!!"

Ouchies

If there's one thing I could change about being a Mom, it'd be the dreaded "ouchie" (or shot) experience! If it were up to me they would all be given orally in flavors such as cherry, bubble gum or cotton candy! I know it's important for our young ones to be vaccinated and I do it to keep my little ones healthy, but must it be such a scary, painful way to keep them safe?!
Max got his first round of "ouchies" last week. He did remarkably well considering Mommy spent all morning worrying about what was to come. He sat there on my lap smiling and cooing, flirting w/ the nurse right up to the point of impact! The crying lasted only a few minutes and as a nursed him I apologized for the pain and promised one day he'd be rewarded w/ a slushy like big brother!

Jaxon insisted on being the one to pull the Band-Aids off before their bath that evening. (In the picture above, that's what he's doing.) Max bounced back much faster than Jaxon ever has from the experience and I guess I should just keep reminding myself of that when we get ready to go back for more. After all, it's much easier to hold down a 13 pounder than the 50 pounder!!!