Thursday, February 24, 2011

Man Rules

My Dad sent me this forwarded email the other day. Normally I don't take the time to read what I call "junk email", but he was very proud of the content and insisted that I take some time to give it a read. I have to admit, it was rather enlightening... and by enlightening, I mean that it was interesting to me to see that all men really do think alike!

I have taken some time to review each "rule" and have given my opinion of what I think about each of these "Man Rules"!

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules" From the female side....
now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. ( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE ) I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have heard my husband say these words to me! It doesn't take a mind reader or a genius for that matter, to figure out what your wife is thinking! Paying better attention is my idea of what should be a woman's first & foremost rule!!!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Oh please! When you begin cleaning the toilets then we will talk! Until then, I make the "toilet rules"!

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. True... but Sunday only comes once a week! SportsCenter is not anything like a full moon or the changing of the tides especially when it's being viewed more than once a day!

1.. Crying is blackmail. I don't even have words for this!

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
I have figured this one out... thanks!!!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. This is such a typical male comment! Why is it so hard for you males to have a conversation?!

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. Again, figured this one out... the hard way! But I don't for the life of me understand why you must know what it is that I was talking to my girlfriend about or why you make comments like, "I suppose you're going to tell "Sally" about this!"

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. Here's a little tip... think very clearly before you make the comment that could come back to haunt you 6 months later!!!

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. Well, that explains a lot! And if we say you still look as good to us as you did when we first met... ya don't!!!

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. And if it does make us angry or sad... FIX IT!!!

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself. Do it right the first time and I wouldn't have to critique or correct your work!!!

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials! I think my husband actually wrote this one!

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. Then why do we own a Garmin?!

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. Then allow us to dress you... all the time!

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. Yes, we know! Just try harder to be discrete about it in public!!!

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. Again, my husband wrote this!!! Why do you even ask if that's how you are going to handle the situation?!

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. Oh brother! Really?!

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really. When we have to go somewhere, help w/ the kids would be very much appreciated... really!!! And before you get dressed... ask if what you are about to put on is OK!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey. Once a week, would it really hurt you to talk about something other than sports?!

1. You have enough clothes. SO DO YOU!!!

1. You have too many shoes. SO DO YOU!!! Work boots count!

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! No comment!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Now that I know sleeping on the couch is like camping to you... have a nice time camping!!!!

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